Rape Crisis

Grampian

Rape & Sexual Abuse Support

 

We offer support & information to anyone over 13 years old who has been raped or sexually abused at any time in their life

 

Tel: 01224 590932

Email: info@rapecrisisgrampian.co.uk

Male Survivors

We offer support to male survivors in all our services, with the same trauma-informed, person-centered approach we do for women and non-binary survivors. Whether it happened recently or a long time ago, we are here to listen and provide a safe, non-judgmental space for you.

 

Anyone can experience sexual violence, regardless of gender and background. The impact of sexual violence and abuse on the lives of boys and men can be just as wide-ranging and long-term as for other survivors.

 

Social attitudes about male survivors and legal definitions of some sexual crimes may make you doubt whether what happened to you was abuse. We want to assure you that what happened was not your fault and you are worthy of support. Having experienced sexual violence does not make you less of a man, nor does being a man make what happened to you less serious.

 

 

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Myths and facts

There is a lot of misinformation and misconception about men and sexual violence, which can make it harder to reach out for help or even realise that you have experienced abuse. Here are some common myths and corresponding facts.

 

Men can’t be raped/sexually abused.

Fact: In legal terms, rape refers to the nonconsensual penetration of the mouth, anus, or vagina using a penis. Regardless of the gender of the victim, this counts as rape.

 

Boys and men can and do experience sexual abuse, and it is more common than most people may think. It is estimated that 2% of men in Scotland have experienced rape. Source

 

Men can’t be abused by women.

Fact: The vast majority of sexual violence and abuse is perpetrated by men. However, women can abuse others, including men. Abuse perpetrated by women is just as serious as abuse perpetrated by men.

 

Having an erection or ejaculating means you consented.

Fact: Erections/ejaculation are physiological responses to certain stimuli, including physical touch and stress; they are not indications of consent or even sexual arousal. Your abuser may have used this physiological response against you or claimed that you wanted what happened because of it. This is wrong and a form of manipulation.

 

Male survivors are more likely to become abusers themselves.

Fact: Some abusers may have experienced abuse in the past, but the vast majority of survivors do not become abusive. This stereotype often prevents men coming forward about their abuse, as they do not want to be labeled an abuser themselves.

 

Only gay men are abused.

Fact: Anyone can be abused regardless of sexuality. Some men who have been abused by other men worry that they have sent off signals or attracted the abuse somehow. This is not the case. Abuse is not about sex or sexual attraction, but about power and control. The only person responsible for the sexual abuse is the abuser.

 

Being trans or gay is a result of sexual trauma.

Fact: Being transgender or gay is not caused by trauma.

 

Referrals

We accept referrals from survivors directly or others on their behalf, with their authorisation i.e. family members, friends, partner agencies, GP’s, Therapists, Social Workers etc. Call us on 01224 590932 or email. We recognise how difficult it can be to tell someone about what you’ve gone through. That’s why getting support isn’t about going into detail or going over exactly what happened if you don’t want to talk about it. It’s about getting the chance to talk through your feelings in a safe, non-judgmental space.

 

 

Other services supporting male survivors

Men’s Advice Line is a  Free helpline for male survivors of domestic abuse, open 9:00-20:00 on Monday to Friday: 0808 8010327. Visit the wesbite for webchat options here.

 

Abused Men in Scotland has a free national helpline open 9:00-16:00 on Monday to Friday: 0808 800 0024. Visit the website for more contact options here.

 

Survivors UK is an online helpline open 12:00 to 20:00 on Monday-Sunday, visit the website for information here.